Abstentee Ballot

I haven't written a blog in a long time. Do you know why? Boys. Duh. And you knew that, so there was no point in reiterating it. Also Scott- but seeing as he is a male cat, he falls into the category (not to burden you with that pun), of a boy. For this, I apologize. Let's put our hands in and make a pack to never let a boy come between us again- giggle-ty giggle-ty giggle. This, of course, will not last, as we all know- I can go boyless for, oh, about an hour-and-a-half, give or take 75 minutes.

But, on the bright side, I have been writing more about these temporary male companions, and considered re-opening the "today's date" blog, but it may be too "steamy" for the likes of, oh, say, my mother, who snoops and reads and subscribes to my blog. However, should this compilation I'm working on ever get published, I'll send you a copy- provided that you send me cash in return.

And if I've "dated" or "made-out with you" for a pro-longed period of time in the past three years, I've probably written about you. In fact, I've probably told you that I've written about you, but like always, you've probably forgot. Also, I've probably given you a dumb effing nick name, like, "boy with the dragon tattoo", only shorter, less of a knock-off of Steig Larson(?) , and more applicable to my life. And yes, I actually plan on publishing these stories some day- and yes, I come off just as bad as you do, as I'm a selfish, overly analytical little prat and it shows. And no, you can't change your dumb nick name, for whatever reason, you deserved it.

I'd like to also take a minute to make this plea: I don't hate all of the boys I've dated, in fact, I still very much like many of them and am friends with a few, or at least try to maintain some sort of friendship. The rest... I hate.

And yes, some of the Christmas cards I'm sending out have the caption "This is why I'm single".